A Sobering Question

Often the worst times are in the wee hours of the morning. You simply can’t sleep, even if you have a prescription that can take down a 300 pound bear, you still can’t sleep.
These are the times when I just get out of bed. I have two things I like to do.
First is clean. Reason One is that I enjoy a clean house, and reason two being that after a bit it helps lull you back to sleep with a sense of accomplishment at the very least.
Second is to write, Blogging to you sweet souls puts me more at ease than most things. Even if I start out angry or confused I end up with the peace that undoubtedly God had planned for me in the first place.

What kept me up tonight was the very sobering question we and or our family gets asked a lot. “Are you (they) going to try again?” I will tell you that there is nothing wrong with this question if asked at the appropriate time. After Nathan first passed away it offended me honestly. But now I can answer it knowing that the asker is not trying to hurt me at all. I think most people are generally good, and mean no harm. So I think that They are simply trying to help you place hope of a new beginning back in your heart. They are simply trying to comfort you in a way that seems appropriate in that moment. They simply want your pain to be set aside long enough to see the hope of maybe just maybe.

But these are the things that still run through my head when asked such a sobering question….
How could I even answer that question when I still feel like I am in a horrible dream sequence? Also what do they mean by try again? Do they mean try harder not to loose the next baby? Do they mean try not to blame ourselves every moment for loosing the last baby? Yes I want another baby, but not as a replacement! Does me even considering it make me a horrible person?
These thoughts and questions swirl around in my head until my eyelids get hot.

Now askers ...I know that you mean well. I know there is not an ounce of malice in your quandary. But I do recommend praying for God to show you when that window has been opened for discussion. Then you will know the right words to say at just the right time.

And for those of us being asked...Please know they mean no harm only comfort. So simply say what is comfortable for you. Be honest if you don't even want to answer. They will understand.

And if you have asked me or want to ask me here is my heartfelt response.
 "We are praying about it" because dear ones we honestly are, and that is all we know for now. We have learned through this tragedy that God really is in control of it all. So for us it is best to pray and be still. Let God's plan work itself out.

Satan will attack our grief journey. But scripture proves that we are not alone. Our suffering is only temporary. And that The Victor is on the way! So hold tight to the verses below and may they bring you courage. We may be weak but Jesus is strong, and we will overcome...even this.

1 Peter 5:8-11
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.
10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.