Keep It Open

Today was a good Nathan Day. James and I use that type of blanket phrase because we have to have constant communication between us about Nathan. Any moment can be good or bad and it can be different for each of us at different times. If one of us is having a good Nathan Day we have to be sensitive if the other isn't and vise a versa. Resentment builds otherwise and who needs that?

When one of us is "off" the other needs to be "on". We have to be each other’s soldiers. This is the fight of our collective lives thus far. Because of our open communication about Nathan our marriage has never wavered. Our marriage is strong. Our marriage is solid. Keeping our focus on strengthening each other is how we can fight "The Enemy". Satan wants Nathans death to tear us apart. He wants the worst possible things for us. That is why he is referred to as "The Enemy".

The day of Nathan's funeral we sat amongst our parents and asked for prayer over our marriage. I asked that they pray a blanket of protection that we not loose each other in all of this pain. Over a year later I can say that this prayer of protection is still in full effect. This is a prayer in action.

Today we were not just able to talk to two sweet ladies at the bookstore about Nathan, but when we walked away we had a glow. A glow we now call a "Nathan Glow". I started telling these sweet ladies about our loss, and I instantly felt James beside me. I don't know how long he had been there, all I know was he was there, and that gave me strength. For the first time I understood what James means when he says " I love talking about Nathan with people, it never makes me sad, I am proud of my son."
Today for the first time I could hear above the noise in my mind, and in my heart, and hear the holy spirit say "Go ahead and talk about your boy".

I believe we planted seeds of peace today, and it all began with the strength we give each other on a daily basis. That strength goes straight from God to us, and we pass it along to each other. Perhaps we may have even changed someone's perspective today. Our talk on the way home was how Nathan is so much bigger than we will ever understand. He is so important in this life, and he doesn’t have to physically be here to leave His mark.

Nathan,
You are such a lucky little booger. We love you so much, and are very proud to tell people that you are part of us forever.
Love , Mommy and Daddy